Joy

I have always found interesting, the question of the glass. Half full or half empty? I know that my glass has only ever been half full if I know there is more in the bottle! My life has always been about enough. I am never enough and I can’t get enough!
I think it is important to figure out a way to keep my glass half full without worrying about the reserve. The only thing I can come up with is…. Pay Attention! Look around to recognize and experience joy. Then, bank that joy. Hold the memory and keep it in the reserve. I realize that as we get older, memory is not something a lot of us have recollection of. I have started calling my children 1, 2 and 3. But... I try to remember the feeling of joy and that I am capable of it.
We are told that the way to experience joy is to serve others. But, without joy first, serving others is a distraction not true joy, and can lead to resentment. Sometimes people serve others to protect themselves from being vulnerable. Sometimes protection is ¾ full and vulnerability is running on empty.
Ambition is admirable but constant drive forward can be a way of protecting oursleves and not paying attention. It can be a way of making life experience us and not allowing ourselves to experience life and bank joy.
I am working on the patience to find my balance between my half full protection and my half empty vulnerability. I believe this is where my joy lies. There, I know this is where the glass will overflow.